I am a woman of faith. My family worships most Sunday’s – though not as much as we should. We believe in the true spirit of Christmas and Easter, and our kids are being raised with Christian values and the Word of God.
This past month has been a whirl-wind of heartbreak and crippling events, and to fill our lungs with air is like sucking in water and expecting it to give you that sip of vital oxygen. It feels nearly impossible – to breathe. The road from where we’re at, to back to where we were once upon a time, will be the hardest thing we’ll ever do. To heal mentally, to heal physically, to heal spiritually, will be like climbing Mount Everest, and we’re standing at the bottom, looking to the top.
I’m good at handling crisis’. My mental state heals faster than the average person. I work through things quicker and with pure determination. I make a decision and I stick to it.
Most of this month, I’ve spent in the numb state. I stare off into space, observing nothing, my mind replying scenarios like a never-ending movie of torment and torture. The remote is no where to be found.
My thoughts are incoherent, except for one question that I keep asking myself: Who is more frightening? The Devil, or God?
Such and insignificant question at a time like this – why would I be thinking such a phrase, and why would I be asking myself this, over and over again.
So I sat down and thought about it for a bit. I worked around my jumbled thoughts and the video that’s in my mind and won’t shut off. I ignored it all, because something in me was telling me the answer to my problems begins with religion.
In my mind, as rational as I could make it, I came to a few conclusions, and I thought I’d share them with you. Take from it what you will.
God is more frightening than the Devil. He created you, He created me, He created the world you walk on and the food that sustains the life He granted. He doesn’t need permission to do as He pleases. If He thinks you need something, He will grant it. If He thinks you could do without, He will deny it. He knows best, and you’re literally sitting in His palms. He doesn’t need permission to enter your life. You live, because He allowed and willed it. You go “home,” because He deems it time to be with Him.
To have your life literally in the palms of something so great, so powerful, that I’m 100 percent positive no one knows the full extent of His power, is terrifying.
The Devil isn’t, and never will be, someone I fear. I’ve had several run-ins with his mischief and malice, whether they were real, or a good sense of humor my brain plays on me, I don’t know. However, I firmly believe we are put in situations where coincidences are a pointless thing to blame.
The Devil has to have permission. He cannot enter your life and stick his fork in you like a cooked turkey, unless you allow it. He cannot control you, unless you allow him to attach strings for his puppet show. He can try – he can poke, and prod, and torment, but the only access he has is if you grant it. You hold the knob to the doorway. It’s your choice to close it, or leave it open.
Both the Devil and God are forgiving, but there’s a difference. With the Devil, he’ll open his arms to you and promise great things, that literally doesn’t make any sense, but you agree, because it’s easier than dealing with the consequences of what you’ve done. With God, He is forgiving, but the road back is a rough one. To get right with yourself, to get right with the man upstairs – it’ll be the most exhausting and hardest thing you’ll ever do.
But in the end, it’ll be worth it. YOU will be worth it. You, your spouse, your family, you friends, are worth it.
I’d rather climb Mount Everest than run from it. I’d rather be fighting for something I love, want, and need, than to be turning my back from it.
So who are you? Do you leave the door open? Or will you climb Mount Everest with me?