This year, I’m not going to flaunt my achieved goals with numbers and percentages. If you follow me, you know what I’ve achieved. The behind the scenes stuff doesn’t really matter to anyone but myself.
This year, I’m doing something a bit different.
2019 was my year of taking control. It was a year of self reflection, of fighting for me against the limited hours of the day, procrastination, and even (recently discovered) bullies. I’ve really buckling down on goals and knowing what I deserve through my hard work.
I made plenty of mistakes this year. Plenty. I’m not afraid to admit them. I won’t shy away from where I went wrong and what I could have done differently. I made mistakes. I said it. Mistakes that I find myself at fault for, too.
But alas, I’ve lost a friend for reasons I can’t fathom and grudges continuously brought to my attention. Grudges I don’t understand. This is the first and the last time I will address the issue. This isn’t common knowledge because frankly, I don’t air my dirty laundry. I prefer to produce materials and situation that results in smiles and happiness and laughter. Life is better that way. Easier, even.
Being a victim of an unprecedented grudge can happen to anyone, and I’m glad it happened to me. Yes. I’m glad about it, and I wish them well in their journey of life. Truly. I do. Why? Because no one needs this kind of stuff to cloud their life, goals, and dreams. I want them to move on. To let it go. Meanwhile, I will pray for them because this a disease cured by the simplest of tonics: forgiveness.
Though forgiveness is a hard pill to swallow, I won’t indulge the presence of this grudge any more in this reflection because the fact is simple. The more a person reminds others of a grudge, the more they should self reflect on why they’re holding one in the first place.
If you’re a victim of the same situation, I ask that you have compassion for them as well. Shrug it off, and then move on. Don’t indulge. Don’t try to mend. Be you in a sea of happiness, and hopefully, they’ll find some too.
The bad experiences compare to nothing of the good experiences, however. I ducked my head while these unexpected betrayals and wounds healed to scars, and used my guarded heart to further my dream.
Among it all, I found new friends. Met new like-minded people who want nothing more than to see me succeed, knowing all the while I’m not perfect. And I want the same for them. I’m truly blessed.
I’ve studied. Boy, have I studied. I’ve furthered my education by learning the ins and outs of advertising successfully through studying, testing, and adjusting. I published two books, and after, written three others in less than one month’s time. All my books will soon be in audio, and I even won another award. This makes my hard work worth it, because I know people are enjoying what I’m writing.
I’ve learned my limits, understood what can truly happen should I wish it and work hard for it. I’ve nixed many things such as tutoring authors, maintaining social media presence where it wasn’t helping, etc etc, because I fully understand now that I have this beautiful dream that needs nurtured in a proper way. With nothing in my way, I can achieve it by staying focused, practice determination, and having an unbending will as strong as the toughest steel.
2020 will bring big things for me. Huge. Monstrous beasts of goals that are a ladder to my dreams. I’ll achieve them. Every day I get closer because what I learned today will carry to the next. And the next. And the next. Until I have my dreams in my hands, this the wondrous journey will be walked with supportive family, friends, and like-minded authors.
Dream big, my friends. The only thing standing in your way is you and the things you think you need to hold on to.
D. Fischer 
Published by